How Cannabis Helps Me Be A Better Mom Despite My Chronic Pain & Illness

By: Stephanie Sanders

This is the story of Stephanie, a single mother of three who uses cannabis for chronic pain, mental health issues, and chronic illness.

My name is Stephanie I’m a single mom of 3 pushing 34 & living with chronic pain/illnesses.

Growing up I smoked “dirt weed” & was a typical “stoner kid” of the late 90’s/early 00’s but my cannabis use fell off a lot when I became a mother at 18. I would really only use cannabis when I was lucky enough to get a time out without my kids.

It wasn’t until my health, both physical & mental, began to deteriorate that I was able to fully realize the medicinal benefits.

To give a brief overview of my mental health, I’ve lived with undiagnosed ADD & anxiety most my life. PTSD came into play after the first part of my adult life was riddled with trauma. Even after I was removed from & free of what caused the trauma, I was left with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, & depression that couldn’t be ignored.

I sought out help & tried the typical route of doctors & psychiatric medications but every time I would try a new medication the side effects would be hell. I was never able to get past the first few weeks on any of them.

At this point in my life cannabis was not legal in Arizona but I would still use it to help with my moods & crippling anxiety. Unfortunately due to it being illegal it wasn’t always accessible to me, and when it was, it wasn’t great quality. So until medical marijuana was passed in Arizona, I had little recourse.

As for my physical health, it has been a bit of a roller coaster! I had to have a hysterectomy in 2011 due to endometriosis that I’d lived with for years. In 2012 I found out I had gastric ulcers & gastritis.

Then in 2013 had to have surgery to remove my gallbladder. Chronic intractable pain entered my life by way of a spine injury that also left me with sciatic nerve damage in 2014.

The pain I have lived with for the past 5 years has been the hardest of my life. I’ve had 3 spine surgeries, the last I had a Varilift implant put in between L4 & L5, which is basically a new, and less invasive form of a fusion.

I will likely require future surgeries & with the degenerative nature it will get worse with time & I will never be pain-free again. Making my previous health issues & surgeries feel like a walk in the park. This fact is one I still struggle with immensely.

Having your life flipped upside down like this isn’t easy for anyone. Learning to adjust to & accept the limitations the pain forces on me is one part I’m still trying to accept. The other is finding pain management options that I feel OK with. The first two years with my spine injury I was using cannabis as I could find it, but I was threatened by doctors over my cannabis use.

Luckily, I found a pain management doctor that is 100% on board with patients using cannabis as an addition to their treatment plans, so long as they have a valid medical card.

Thus began my real journey with medicinal cannabis & CBD products. One thing no one seems to prepare you for is the sometimes overwhelming amount of options.

Also for me personally, due to my financial situation & my tolerance levels I’m not always able to medicate in a way that would yield the best results for me.

For example, I would prefer sublingual over smoking/vaping because it helps more for physical pain in my experience but I can rarely afford to buy anything sublingual that will have a dose that works. My go-to in recent months have been concentrates, shatter in particular.

When I first got my card I stuck mostly with flower, sometimes I would try edibles but my tolerance again makes finding the right dose expensive. Being a single mom of 3 in the process of applying for disability, the financial side of medicating is the most difficult aspect to say the least. As a result, I’ve generally stuck with concentrates or flower.

Another point I like to acknowledge when talking to people who aren’t familiar, is that generally speaking, people with anxiety should stay away from sativa strains, but that isn’t always the case. I am someone who is able to use all types of strains without making my anxiety worse.

The main thing is to experiment a little with strains & doses until you find what works best for your needs. A good “bud tender” will help you navigate the process as well!

My preferred way to medicate on a normal day is to have a good sativa during the day (one I recently enjoyed was Lemon Sour Diesel as it was good for day time energy & pain) & a potent indica for night time (right now I have Lava Cake & it is a good relaxing strain that has been great for insomnia & night time anxiety).

Unfortunately my local dispensaries aren’t consistent with their strains so I’m constantly bouncing between different strains.

Even with my my financial/tolerance situation this sativa/indica combo has helped me keep my anxiety under control & allowed me to be a more present mother. Before a dose I may be off the walls angry, crying, shaking from anxiety but within minutes of smoking I am able to calm myself and get out of the attack.

I’ve yet to experience this with psychiatric medications, cannabis doesn’t eliminate my anxiety disorder or the PTSD but it absolutely makes living with it bearable. When it comes to relieving pain, I’ve found cannabis helps but not enough to not need other pain management options as well.

However, I’ve found CBD salve to be really helpful for my spine pain as well as the nerve & muscle pain that goes from my hips to my toes. I medicate a few times a day varying by symptoms & use the salve around 3-4x a day as I am able to afford it.

I’m still hopeful that one day I will be able to manage all my health issues through cannabis/CBD, but at the same time I am so grateful to have the option to legally & safely medicate at all.

Witnessing the slow destigmatization of cannabis growing up has been somewhat surreal at times. I don’t take my privilege to legally medicate lightly either, I believe everyone should have this privilege and no one should be sitting in a cage or losing their kids over cannabis use.

Cannabis as a medication has been life altering for me in amazing ways, but the biggest of all is that it allows me the chance to enjoy time with my kids in spite of my chronic illnesses & pain.

Living with mental illness, chronic pain & other health problems while trying to raise 3 kids, 1 with special needs, is difficult & challenging in ways you can’t even imagine without living it.

Some days it feels impossible to just get out of bed but for them I do, and I’m not exaggerating when I say cannabis helps take away “cranky mom” and gives us time together where my pain isn’t at the forefront.

I may not be able to drive much anymore, may live with anxiety and PTSD for the rest of my life, I may never be “pain-free”, & my spine will get worse with age, but when you’re a mom you don’t give up.

You fight for yourself because you know those 3 amazing humans are watching & they need you, the best you possible. There is no shame in using Cannabis and/or CBD to help treat an illness. If it is the right fit for you it truly can give you pieces of your life back.

From one mother to another, don’t be ashamed of asking for help and please do not let the lingering stigmas stop you from giving it a try. It was one of the best decisions I have made while trying to navigate this new world I now call home.

We all have to chose what is right for us and our families, and for mine, normalizing medicinal cannabis use is right. Remember whether cannabis use is right for you or not, motherhood is a sisterhood that shame and stigma have no place in.

Stephanie is a cannabis advocate and mother of three. You can follow along her journey of using cannabis for pain management by visiting her on Instagram or on her blog.

How Cannabis Helps Me Be A Better Mom Despite My Chronic Pain & Illness

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